Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize