I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
