Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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