was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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