Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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