Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
