he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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