Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
