would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
