I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
we're so committed to being not committed
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