Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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