I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
