it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize