Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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