i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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