Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
