U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
