we have pet lesbian snakes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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