Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
