just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
