Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
