Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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