I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
