i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fill condoms, not promises.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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