i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
