Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
