Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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