who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He kissed a someone with a penis
please come you make the beer taste better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
