I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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