Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
