the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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