So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
