i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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