thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
