I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm getting married
To pizza
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize