11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
