I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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