Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
