dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
