So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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