You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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