He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize