i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
