My friends, they love my intelligence
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize