i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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