Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
