That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
