my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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