70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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