Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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