flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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