everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
