good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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