The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
