I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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