It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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