Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
