Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
