also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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